This post is dedicated to my loving grandmother, who ultimately left me with the push that I needed.
I used to feel almost like I was dead inside, going through the motions like every other young adult. I was stuck in this unavoidable rut - I was working 55 plus hours a week for a job that I resented because I was unhappy, unchallenged, and completely uninterested in this job becoming my career. I found myself facing the undeniable truth for most millennials - I don't love my job and the money I'm making isn't filling the void anymore. I was unfulfilled, unmotivated, and all around empty. I was drowning out these thoughts with pointless instant gratification which consisted of large amounts of alcohol and anything to take my mind away from thinking about getting my life together.
In October, I was confronted with the upsetting news that my beloved grandmother had passed away. I sat in the pew at the funeral home holding back tears while I listened to my grandmother's pastor talk about her will to continue a life in happiness. She took pleasure in the simplest things - bringing family together, tending to her garden, and cooking large meals. Honestly, the life I was living only consisted of me throwing my money towards pointless things. What was I doing? Why was I allowing myself to commute to a job that leaves me feeling anxious, stressed, and miserable? Why was I not using the degree I worked so hard for? Why am I settling for this destitute life?
Leading up to that moment, doubt had filled my mind constantly, then suddenly fell silent. I was challenged to turn to the only person who could change anything about my depressing situation - ME. I reached what some people would call at quarter life crisis. Instead of balling my eyes out, I was mentally preparing myself to quit my job. I was willing to put everything I had worked for (and resented) to do one thing - follow my passion.
5 months ago I didn't have an ounce of courage to really follow through with my dreams. The loss of precious life can provoke a major undertaking. I am grateful for the ability to recognize the changes that needed to be made, the motivation to make them a reality, and above all the inspiration from my grandmother to chase my calling.